The Today Show

Somewhere along the lines, surrogacy in India became a hot topic. And many news outlets were contacting Planet Hospital for comment. They were directed to Lisa and I as we had just come back and had been through the process.

We get asked if Mara Schiavacampo, from NBC, can come to San Antonio and interview us. We’d love to have her, come on down. And she does. She interviews us, gets all her questions answered, runs some background on how we got to this point. And she’s done. Very simple, very respectful, we love Mara!

It runs on the web, rather than on the NBC Nightly News. And then we find out why..

As my wife and her mother would say..”Are you ready for this?”

The Today Show wants us to go to NY and be interviewed live, on the air.  Will we do it? Yes, for two reasons only.

1. To let other infertile couples know there is another avenue, that it is much more affordable, and very possible.

2. Lisa loves NY.

Some have said we are verging on becoming media whores because of the web piece, The Today Show, several newspaper articles, and now both People Magazine and 60 Minutes would like to speak with us. In fact, 60 Minutes wants Katie Couric to travel to India with us when we get to hold our children for the first time. We consider this to give hope to all the people who think there is no hope for them to start a family. To show them that it can be done, and given the determination and direction, anyone can do it. We want People Magazine to interview another couple that Lisa helped to go to India. They are now pregnant as well. And we couldn’t be happier for them!

See the right sidebar for the Today Show link.

Oh Dear God…

(Or “You have got to be kidding me!!)

So we get back home from Gulfport, happy and content that a baby is on its’ way. We will be parents. Boy, Girl, doesn’t matter..We have a baby.. or do we?

 

What the hell do you mean twins?????? That was my first thought when Lisa received that email. My actual first words were, “Wait, What?” And Lisa was Flubber, emotionally bouncing off the walls with elation. Me? I was terrified. Scared to death. Pertified. Cata-freakin-tonic in a closet.

But now..I am elated as well. 2 for 1 special, order up! I was dreading twins. I knew it was a possiblilty, but really, what are the odds.. Pretty damn good, looking back on it now.

And the closer we get to the due date, the more anxious and nervous I become. But I can’t wait. At all.

 

Did it work???

So, we get home after 7 days in India, 2 days of travel and endless blue streaks of cursing about customs and immigration hassles changing planes in New Joisey. It’s now Nov. 15th and we are making plans to go to my hometown of Gulfport, MS for Thanksgiving.

So we pack up the car with suitcases and dogs and we are on our way.  Both my brother and sister will be there. Mom gets all her children back home for a holiday. Good Times! It is here that Lisa and I are intoduced to Nintendo Wii..and we are hooked. We bought one 2 days later!

So the day comes around that we should be finding out if we are pregnant or not. And Lisa is checking her gmail account like a madwoman. I swear the refresh button doesn’t have text on it anymore. Rubbed it right off..lol..

So I convince her to settle down, it’ll get here and she proceeds to play the Wii. A bit later I check her mail and there it is… so I mark it as unread, close the laptop and go get my video camera for my Dad to film this event..and event 20 years in the making. That’s about how long Lisa has been wanting children..so here we go..

I tell Lisa is almost dinner time, so she should check her mail and come give me a hand…

So she does…and she erupts into a fit of joy, tears of happiness and breathes of relief.. We have our baby. We are pregnant!!!!!!!!!

We call her Mom first and by her reaction, which was priceless, you’d have thought we won the billion dollar lottery. It was greatness!

So, now we are pregnant, and all is looking up for us in terms of starting our family..  

The Waiting Game…

So, we’re all done with the procedure, and are awaiting the creation of the embryo’s. We are anxious to know how many embryo’s can/will be made. To take our mind off of it, we go explore for a while. Just a quick walk around, but in that heat and humidity, it didn’t last long.

Turns out we got 15 embryos and 5 were implanted into our surrogate. That is amazing.

(edited: Lisa informed me I was wrong about the number of transferred embryos. My bad. :p)

So, we are done, the only thing left to do is sight-see and shop. We did both in spades.

We went to the Hare Krishna main temple in Juhu Beach. Beautiful! The art work and statues are a sight to behold.

We walked from there to the JW Marriot Hotel, where surprisingly, you cannot take pictures of the building. Take pictures of all the horrors of poverty all you want, but no, not of the hotel. Just as well, they wanted $3.50 for a can of Dr. Pepper.

We went back to the Taj Hotel, bought some souvenirs for friends and family.

Enjoyed a bit more Indian tv, watched some cricket matches, and realized that it’s a silly game. With scores like 325 to 217, can you really get excited? Is there any suspense as to the outcome?

So, now, we’re ready to go home.  Good Lord, am I ready to come home. My own bed, my own food, my motorcycle, my dogs, etc..

 

 

 

A quick word about Indian Healthcare

Before I get too far past it to come back, we did take a little sidetrip to a clinic in Mumbai. It seems the US based fertility clinic that did a blood workup for Lisa, failed to send it to India. We needed that bloodwork, so we were referred to a clinic to have it done in India. This was a spur on the moment, last minute thing. So we get there, walk in and the clinic is beautiful. Marble floors, well lit, beautiful artwork on the walls. And we have no appointment. No matter, we were seen in less than 10 minutes. Lisa was to get blood drawn, an xray, and an EKG. She was done with all of that in 20 minutes and the cost?? The equivalent of $20 U.S.

Can you dig it? $20! And the equipment used was identical to what we use in the States. Unbelievable!

Now, here’s the funny/somber part.  At some point, the fertility clinic here in the States decided to get off thier asses and take a look at what bloodwork they did do. So, it’s 3am in Mumbai and we get a cell phone call from the Dr. here in the States. He demands to speak with me, will not speak with Lisa. He asks me a few questions, and I answer No to all of them. Now, keep in mind, I’m and out cold from Ambien, so I just want to go back to sleep. So when he tells me that I have tested positive for the HIV virus, I tell him his test is wrong and hang up. I tell Lisa what he said and fall back asleep. Lisa wigs the hell out. She knows I’m useless to speak to, what with Ambien, and the fact we haven’t slept well yet. So she freaks all night until I wake up and give her more details. We have another test done in India..Negative. But right before we get the reults, I am a wreck. I’m sure I’m ok, but there is always that little bit of doubt. No one should ever have that happen to them. I wanted to speak to the Dr. here in the States, to let him know we didn’t appreciate the news when it was unwarranted. I say that because he based his results on some elevated white cell counts. all the flags were negative across the board but the elevated WC’s gave him pause. Turns out, I was getting over a cold. Fun to be me, right? Well, the US tests for anti-bodies, your bodies celles that fight off a particualar invader. In India, they test for the antigen, the invader itself. Much more reliable. Bless India, really…

Break for Commentary

Ok, so here are some tidbits I may have left out or forgotten.

The hotel: in Bandra West, decent area, but the poorest of the poor will live next door to what would be considered wealthy. Strange to us that are used to the haves living in one section of town away from the have nots.

The poverty: Heartbreaking. Truly, makes your heart ache. But here’s the kicker. They are tirelessy on the move, doing whatever work needs to be done. Impressive work ethic.

The population & traffic: Oh My God. Mumbai is about the size of Ft. Lauderdale, or San Diego. Imagine 16 million people in one of those cities. And traffic..so close together you can reach out your car window and honk the horn of the car next to you. It takes 75 minutes to get 8 miles. Don’t ever, ever complain about traffic in the States. We have A/C  in our cars. They do not, for the most part. And pedestrians. NYC has people on a leisurely stroll compared to these folks.

 

 

 

The Procedure

or Lisa is a freakin Trooper!!!

The day of the procedure came and we headed to the clinic. We hailed an auto-rikshaw, which is basically a 3-wheeled covered moped. Has the horsepower of a squirrel on acid. They have a taxi meter, but of all the ’shaws we took. None worked. They are all stuck on 10 rupees. 25 Cents. I usually gave the 50 rupees. Just to be nice. Some of these drivers actually live in their rickshaw.

So we get to the clinic, and Lisa is given a gown, and the film crew get scrubs. I’m standing there with my thumb in my tukus, asking where my scrubs are. Seems there is not enough room in the operating theater for the husband. Room for Dr.? Check. Room for 2 nurses? Check. Room for Camera-operating Documentarian? Check. Director of Documentary? Check. Husband? Get back in there and get us a sample. We’ll see you soon. Success! and he thought I might not be able to provide on cue! HA!

So Lisa is under for about 45 minutes, and they bring her to a small recovery room. She is groggy for 2 hours coming out of it. She never has done well with anesthesia.

But when she’s up, we head back to the hotel. Now, we take an auto-rikshaw back and let me tell you this. The suspension system on these “vehicles” is non-existant. Imagine, if you can, having a doctor poke around your insides like a drunk Roto-Rooter technician. Then you must sit on a skateboard and roll downhill on a cobblestone street. You got that image? Welcome to Lisa’s world. She didn’t complain much and when we got back to the hotel, she slept the sleep of the angels.

God knows I love her and the lengths she has gone through to be a mother to my children are extrordinary. Bless you Lisa.

Happy Dewali!

Indian New Year – or wake the tourists at 6.am.

Depends on where you’re from. If you are from Mumbai, you have reason to wake up at the butt crack of dawn and light M-80 firecrackers. Even if you’re only 4 years old. If you are not from Mumbai, you have reason to wake up at the butt crack of dawn.

Seriously. We were on the 8th floor and looking out over the street, these firecrackers were booming in our room. and they went on until 3am the next morning. There were times that there were so many going off, you’d swear we were under attack. After the 3rd day of this, I started to find it funny. Or I was going mental from lack of sleep. You decide.

Anyhoo, Dewali is a Festival of Lights, so everything was lit up and decorated. Quite festive and impressive, considering how few resources the average Joe has. Good for them.

 

Shopping Day 2 (or Pay attention to Chivalry)

Day 3, more shopping.

We decided to stay away from the bizarre’s (what we would call flea markets), and focus on shopping malls. The first one we went to was an indoor mall, ton’s of small shops and more cell phone accessories than you can shake a dead Nextel phone at. Good grief, they barely have running water and electricity, but by George, they have  cell phones. Lisa found a Chloe knock-off purse and it was surprisingly very well made. Top quality craftsmanship for what it was. I was impressed. I visited the leather goods store and found a nice wrist guard. We also got taken on a hair dryer. But that only happened once. Once.

So we bounce from there to the Millenium Mall. Very cool, just like you’d see in the States. And just a pricey. No deals here, however, chivalry is not dead at this mall. Someone I know was walking, looking thru the clear glass walls at some sunglasses. The worker open the clear glass door, but apparently, my friend did not notice the finer points of the concept of glass walls and doors, and promptly walked face first into a glass wall. I lost it. “It” being my damn mind when I laughed. Bad move and I’ve felt bad about it since. But I still have it in my memory banks and every now and again a giggle will escape the dust-riddled tomb that is my mind. I’m sorry, and I love you. Don’t hurt me, please. 

From there, High Street Phoenix..wonderful place, great stores, great prices. If you want to shop in India, here’s where to do it. Forget the malls, forget the street vendors, High Street is the spot. 

Shopping (or Lisa gets Giddy)

After the clinic, we basically had the rest of the day to sightsee..and shop.

We decided, and by we I mean Lisa , to hit the jewelry and fashion districts. These names are very misleading. New York has a Diamond district and  it is several blocks of nothing but jewelry stores. As it should be. Mumbai has the same concept, but they placed it in what is considered to be the world’s largest slum. I call it slum only because that is the term that was used by our concierge. I call it a concierge because in-attentive, chronic cell phone user is already taken by the women drivers of the world. That last comment is going to get me in trouble, but trust me, ride on my motorcycle with me, and have the kind of near-death close calls I deal with on a regular basis, and you’ll agree.

This guy dis-appeared more than Chris Angel and Harry Houdini combined. He took us to this slum and dropped us off. The driver went to park and wait with the car, and out concierge, henceforth called J, started us walking through the most crowded street you would ever see.

 

 In between looking where he’s going, to making sure Lisa was with me, to making sure the film crew was with us, I developed the most obscene neck ache ever.

But even though he vanished, we did good in that crowd. Found a few shops, bought some nice trinket jewelry, Lisa got to haggle, and  we were occosted by Hare Krishnas (Hare Krishna’s, not just in the airports anymore) and I think I almost started an international incident when they would not get out of my face. I used to be a violent man when pressed. I still have a temper, but do not chuck knuckles as quickly as I used to. I have mellowed, but still have a temper when I get frustrated or have had enough. And let me tell you, I had had enough when I saw them from a block away. Jehovah’s Witnesses have NOTHING on these guys. So when we were ready to go, the search was on for Waldo, I mean, J. And when I found him, I voiced my displeasure with great authority.

We then headed to find some Sari’s for Lisa to buy our surrogate and her friends. We ended up at the Silk Museum and let me tell you, they make some gorgeous sari’s. Stunning, really. Lisa got to haggle a bit, but in hindsight, because we paid U.S. cash, the purchases were “off the books”. She could have haggled more had she known.

So we head to the mother of all hotels in Mumbai. The Taj Hotel Mumbai. Many American and European faces here. We decided to have lunch here. And it was good, but as expected, very pricey. But we loved it. Did some shopping in the small shops inside the hotel, and headed for Elephant Island. If you ever go to Mumbai, go to Elephant Island, see the caves.. We missed the caves on this trip, but saw the sunset over the Arabian Sea. Beautiful.

 We visited the Gateway of India  
and on the way back from the island, we got to see India from offshore, all lit up with fireworks going off. Really was special.

Headed to the Clinic!

The day after we arrived, we had to go to the Rotunda clinic, which is handling all medical related processes. So we get to the clinic and I’m thinking “this can’t be it. This is an apartment building.”  Well, I’m half right. It is it, but it is also and apt. building. So we go in, and remove our shoes. Btw, you remove your shoes in lots of places, get used to it, wear clean socks..lol.

Anyhow, the clinic is very small and consists of the Dr.’s office, the waiting area, the operating room, two recovery areas and a consultation area. Very tiny. But also very classy. Marble floors, deep rich wood walls and desks. Very Nice. Here is the website for the clinic: http://www.iwannagetpregnant.com/

Dr. Allahbadia is the most personable, caring, and friendly doctor I have ever met. He explained everything, the whole process in plain, although accented, English. He spoke English very well. Then he dropped the mother of all bombs on me.

He needed my “sample”. Right then, right now. To use as a back-up if I could not provide a sample on the day of the procedure. Jeez, Doc, give a guy some warning!

But I went into the room, with Lisa (thank god she was there! No visual aids in the room?!) and provided the sample. There is not a more embarrasing feeling than coming out and putting that cup on the front desk with a waiting room full of people looking at you.  and they let the cup sit there..in plain site!! Hello!! Needless to say, I departed asap. I bounced. I jetted. I was a Swayze. (Ghost for you non-pop culture folks that are fairly slangless..)

so we went shopping…

Our Hotel

So we get to our hotel, The Executive Enclave, and it is very nice. It’s not the Marriot Suites, but it is still better than Motel 6. The  portacache (spelling, i know) is marble as is the lobby. In fact, every piece of flooring in the hotel is marble. The elevator is the old door type, with the closing scissor gate. I’d never seen one live, and it was cool. But I can see how someone would lose a hand in that contraption. The hallways are hot, not air conditioned at all. We get to our room and there is no power. Thanks to Frank, who had been to Mumbai, we knew that we had to insert our room key into a slot to get the electricity working. This is due to the huge power demand from a really outdated electrical system. Waste not, want not. But being from the States, and being incredibly spoiled, we needed/wanted the a/c to run at all times, so we wouldn’t come back to a sweltering room. We found that a business card worked just as well as our room key. So when we did leave, we killed all the lights and just left the a/c on. Selfish, I know, but this kind of heat and humidity, we had never seen the likes of. It was hot!

The hotel is equipped with wi-fi internet, albeit, not exactly broadband. We enjoyed download speed of about 540kb/sec. Not bad. They have it locked down, you pay by the hour or the day. They may not have speed but they can keep you out of it if you don’t pay. Believe that. I’m sure I could use a small webcam next time, but we’ll see.

The hotel included breakfast and I’m not talking about some fruit and bagels. This breakfast was hot, fresh and delicious. I cannot remember what the food were called, but they were hot, fresh and delicious. They even had a chef there that would custom make an omelet for you. The orange juice, however, was a Tang-like product.

There are a few rules about eating in India. And they exist for a reason.

1. Do not drink any water you do not open yourself.
2. Do not order salads. They wash it in tap water. (Think Mexico)
3. Do not eat fruit you did not peel yourself. See #2

We did not have a bad meal in India. It was all good. Room service at the hotel made some of the best Buttered Chicken ever. Ever, I tell you!

A quick note about imbibing in India. Get the Hayward’s Beer. It is awesome. It comes in several levels in alcohol content. 1k, 2k,3k, 5k and 10k. I had the Hayward’s Black, which is based off the 5k, and after 3 beers I was damn near looped! Good times..good times…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Driving in India

If you can call it that.. I call it Controlled Chaos in an Uncontrollable Chaotic world. I have never seen driving like this in my life. Ever! I dare not even try to imagine what the driving test is like! Vehicles are literally inches from each other. I am a daredevil, afraid of no speed, I fear no gear. However, my wonderful wife was in tears laughing at the sight of me covering my eyes with my hat and yelling “Bus!!” every 9 seconds. My life and the lives of several other people, whom I don’t think I even knew, flashed before my eyes. This is the place of redneck dreams. Legal demolition derby on public streets. But, in the defense of the drivers of India..not one accident. Not once did I see anyone hit anything, save for a motorcyclist going down avoiding a pedestrian. Of which there are millions..literally, millions. Mumbai has a population damn near 16 million. Try to imagine 16 million people in Ft. Lauderdale, FL. There ya go.

After the third day, I was having fun with it. The near misses, the close calls, the total lack of stop signs. Here, the horn is a greeting. Vehicles all have a sign on the back, in English that says, and I quote “Horn OK Please”. In India they want you to honk, let them know you are there, or are going to be there. In the States, if you honk your horn, there is the real threat of violence. We actually saw a car crossing an elevated bridge, all alone, not a single car near him going in his direction. When he passed us, you know what we heard?

That’s right, his horn. Not just a honk or two…he was riding that horn for all it was worth… It was then I realized it was just a way of life. The way we turn on our radio’s, cd’s, mp3 players, and satellite radio..they honk the horn.. “It has no beat, Dick, I can’t dance to it, I give it a 1″.

 Back to the No Stop Signs…seriously, none! You honk the horn and get in where you fit in. And here’s the thing.. There is so much traffic, you may have a 6 lane road, 3 lanes for each direction. It doesn’t matter because, 1. the lanes aren’t marked, and 2. you will have 6 cars lined up across the lane, with a 7th trying to fit in too.

I will just have to post video to accurately get this across to you.

India, Here we come!!

Ok, so we book our flight from San Antonio to Mumbai, India and prepared for 22 hours of what I was sure was going to be pure hell. And you know what? I’ve been proven wrong on a number of occasions. I can admit that. But what I will never admit to, is being wrong about this trip. The flight over..well, let’s just say, imagine living in the middle of nowhere and the ONLY channel you can get is the 24/7 Cop Rock channel. Torture, understand? San Antonio to New Jersey, piece o’ cake..NJ to Mumbai..not so much. Not only was it crowded, but a 4 year old that either sick, scared, or had emotional issues would let out a scream every 90 seconds…for 15 hours!!!!!!!! If there is one thing, and one thing only I can recommend to travellers on a flight that long…it would be Ambien, with a NyQuil chaser!

Anyhoo..we get to Mumbai, and get through Custom and Immigration. (just a quick aside: Does anyone actually immigrate to India?)

Now, let me stop here for a moment, call it a flashback. When we decided to go to India to have a baby, we were approached by a filmmaker. She and her partner (in film, not life..lol) wanted to film a documentary about our journey. We allowed this. And we’ve had fun with it! Rebecca and Vashali came to San Antonio in September and interview us and our friends and co-workers for four days. They are so sweet!

\end flashback -

Ok, so we exit the airport and there are the documentarians, awaiting our arrival. First thought upon seeing India live, from the ground? Wow, 15 hours of flight, and I’m in Mexico! Seriously, my friend Frank said it first when he went to Mumbai and I had the same thought.  It was hot, it was HUMID, and it was night. There was a pugent aroma in the air, but what muggy, tropical area doesn’t have some form of aroma. However, aroma therapy, this will never be associated with. After some delay..we found our driver…a loose term if every I have used one….

The Journey Begins

Well, here we are, somewhere around week 24 of our pregnancy. I say “our” because even though my wife is not “physically” pregnant, we are emotionally pregnant. You see, my wife and I, for several medical reasons, had to find someone to carry a child for us. And we found India!

A brief history:

My wife and I met in Spring 2000, and after we wed in Jan. 2001, we began the journey of starting a family. We tried for over a year, without medical help, and had no luck. We then started with fertility treatments. Just the small stuff, to try to jumpstart things. Still no dice. We progressed on, and after 7 years and many, many thousands of dollars, decided to look at adoption. We were hoping to adopt a Chinese girl. And it looked very promising until something, I can’t remember what, happened that caused the adoption of the child to become even more difficult.

So then we started looking at surrogacy. My wife was told of Planet Hospital  and she set about speaking with them. We decided to hold off, as my sister offered to carry for us. We were in the midst of hammering out the details, such as insurance, health care, etc. when my sister was invloved in an auto accident that damaged her back to the point that she could not carry for us.

Lisa re-contacted Planet Hospital in September. The first week of November we were on a plane to India!