Wow, I have waited for this day for what seems like an eternity. Not just Mother’s Day but this Mother’s Day.
Last year at this time I got Mother’s Day cards, the twins were on their way but I didn’t feel like a “Mom”. It was all just too surreal, there was no tummy to feel, no kicks to jump at, no morning sickness, no false starts to the hospital. I was just this woman waiting to have her babies delivered halfway around the world.
Last year at this time I was clueless, I didnt know if it was boys or girls. I didn’t know if I would be a good Mom. I didn’t know what I would go through in India. I didn’t know that returning to work would be so hard. I didnt know what it was like to go through months without a decent nights sleep. I didn’t know that I could love someone so much it hurt when I wasn’t with them. I didn’t know what it was like to lose a child. I didn’t know how much I could handle that life would throw at me. There was so much I thought I knew and I was wrong. It wasn’t that I thought I knew it all, there was just so much more to learn.
Last year at this time I was on a mission. I wanted to spread the news to people around the world that parenthood was possible for many of us that had given up hope. I thought by this time this year my mission would be fufilled. I now realize that there is so much more to do to get the word out and I have been lax in my efforts over the last few months.
Last year at this time I did not feel even close to 40, now I feel like 41 has kicked my backside.
Last year at this time, I wanted to say, “I am a Mother!” and now:
To all our friends and family out there, I am a Mother. In the last year I have learned that I am stronger than I thought I was, not as smart as I thought I was, full of more emotion than I every thought possible and happier than I ever thought I could be.
I know some of you have taken this journey with us and are either in the middle or waiting for your journey to begin, and to you I say with all my heart, GO FOR IT! Be ready for the challenges and never give up or give in. Do not accept the status quo, let no one tell you no. You, my friends, my girls, my mothers to be, are worthy of this. Through the last year, even with its challenges and new realities, I am thankful everyday for my babies. Thier lives made me new, made me realize who I was in one short year. I wish this for all of you. Happy Mother’s Day.
Oh and this is for the Mikes too but they have to read this again in June~